By September 21, 2012 0 Comments Read More →

The Lowry Lowdown: A Scandalous Portland Timbers Story


Kenny Cooper during Portland Timbers career (Photo by Jeff Vinnick/Getty Images)

We all had reason to celebrate after the Portland Timber’s first MLS home game last season at Jeld-WEN field. The win was a first ever MLS franchise victory and home opening win against my former team the Chicago Fire. It was a momentis occasion for the organization and soccer in Portland.

The day after the game the players all returned to Jeld-WEN field for a regeneration session with the coaching staff. Almost immediately our head coach John Spencer wanted to have a team meeting before the session. He stepped into the room in a disconcerting mannor looking on us with not joy but dismay.

The game had ended 4-2 in the Timbers favor. To this day I still talk with teammates, friends and family about the atmosphere and celebratory environment in the stadium that rainy April night.  It was a memorable experience for fans, front office and players alike so we were all wondering what this meeting could be about.

Coach Spencer began by saying the victory all be it memorable came with unfortunate consequences. After the game he said that a couple reportedly were having sex in the front yard of a house nearby the stadium. Supposedly the house belonged to an older woman who was startled and dismayed by the scene. She called the police and the couple ran off before the authorities could arrive on the scene. However, the older woman was able to see a name on the shirt of the male culprit and promptly reported to the police that she could make out a name on a shirt and it was Kenny Cooper who was having sex in her yard.

Now I know Kenny Cooper, our star forward at the time, and he is the last guy on the team I would suspect of engaging in this sort of nafarious activity. Kenny is the type of guy that freaks out about only being 5 minutes early. He is about as professional and private as they come. During this meeting Kenny’s face was almost as priceless as our reactions to how the story developed. The culprit, however, was not Mr. Cooper but rather an overly excited fan with a Kenny Cooper Timber’s jersey who the older woman mistakenly identified as Kenny.

We all got a good laugh at the story and John even coyingly said the police would like to question Kenny after practice. To this day I am not sure if the story is true or not but it has stuck in my memory over the years as an example of how good the high’s of playing can be. Many times the low’s far outnumber the high points but it is stories and times like these that make it all worth while. Credit also goes to Coach Spencer for flawlessly executing the prank.

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